So I know my journal isn't read by anyone but myself. I don't keep it everyday. I try to update it once a year. I have waited so long that if I don't update now, a whole year will have passed by! Lol.
Firstly, I wish you all a late Merry Christmas! I hope yours was good. I got what I wanted but it didn't feel like Christmas to me. It felt very dreary and dull and boring. Plus my cousins made it very uncomfortable for me, sitting around all surrounding like a bunch of morons. That's what they are. Anyways, Christmas is over, now to New Years!
New Years brings a lot of hope. Some people hope they can find that one kiss at midnight. Some people celebrate with the ones they love. Some try to avoid it and their lives and just get through it. All of these are valid options for a new years celebration.
Some people don't enjoy new years because it seems like they never get anything good during a new year. Some people still celebrate in hopes that this will be the year that changes. Some people just cry at night knowing it'll never happen. New Years can be good or it can be bad.
I know that I have a lot of hope for this new year. I hope to lose weight. I hope to find someone to fall in love with and have them love me back. I hope for my mom to get better. I hope my grandma's eyesight will improve. I hope my cousins will stop being assholes so we can all be together again. I have a lot of hopes. Sadly, I have realizations as well.
My mom is only getting worse, not better. I don't know how many more years I'll have with her before she starts forgetting who I am. My grandmother's eyesight will never improve, she's going blind. She'll never be able to see what I look like skinny, my wedding, my children. I don't know if that'll ever be a possibility. My cousins will never stop being assholes because that's how they're raised. I just hope they don't show-up at the party I go to because I don't want to see them. I don't want my year to have them involved.
I can't make somebody love me. I haven't been able to do that and I don't know if I will, but that one is a possibility. The weight one is in my control. I hope I can make it happen, I'll try my best.
2012 is all even numbers. It's the year I turn 22.
Despite what I wrote above, I have a strange feeling that 2012 will be my year. It'll be the year stuff finally happens for me. We'll see what the future holds.
I wish everyone a safe, happy, and healthy New Year. God Bless.